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My cousin Jennifer had some serious problems letting go of her ex-boyfriend. He broke up with her several times, cheated on her and treated her really bad yet she still begged him to stay and asked him to at least keep her as an option in his life.
Most people would judge her as crazy, but is she? He was her first love and she fell in so hard, she couldn’t get up.
Although I know that I wouldn’t put myself in the same position as her, I understand her pain. I am hopeful that in time she’ll learn to let go, face the music, and start a better story.
In line with this, I came up with ways on how to go through hell and back with these sad realities of life.
“No relationships are perfect. Perfection is when you can go through anything with that special someone and still stand strong together.”
Sorry to shatter your fairy tale fantasies, Cinderella, but you need to wake up and face the possibility that you’re prince charming may actually look like Shrek, that he may not be a real prince and he probably doesn’t own a castle or a horse, and worse, you might be the one who has to climb up a high tower to save his butt.
Yes ladies, reality check time – no relationship is perfect ever! Tears, pain and conflicts are part of its grand design and “happily ever after” is all in your head.
However, though you can’t avoid disagreements or getting hurt, the good news is that there are always ways to compromise or to sacrifice something in order to gain something greater.
In the piece “What I‘ve Learned About Relationships From My Marriage” JC Hannigan shares two hard truths:
• It is impossible to split responsibilities 50-50, one will always tend to do less or give less than the other. So trying to keep a running tally of who does what and who gets what is damaging.
• Relationships end because people can’t put their own hurt aside; they just have to win all the time. In this case, there’s no other way to change the game but to learn to swallow your pride.
Harsh, right? But real relationships really work that way. And unless you let go of this concept of perfection in your head, you will never learn to fully accept and love the person who is standing right next to you and you will never be truly happy.
You can’t please everyone. However, the power to live at peace with everyone depends on you.
No matter how nice you are and no matter how hard you try, you just can’t please everybody. Hello, even Jesus Himself was crucified. But you know what? You don’t have to be liked by everyone to really be happy in life. It’s just a matter of being the bigger person and knowing how to make peace.
In the office, for example, there will always be colleagues that will make you grit your teeth and clench your fists on occasion. But you have to understand that you are dealing with different types of people, from different cultures and with different beliefs; therefore conflicts are inevitable.
So, to help you unclench those fists and breathe a little easier, check this out – “5 Types of Difficult Co-Workers (And How to Deal With Each).”
Conflicts, villains and dark secrets are always part of the story.
Every time the US dollar to Philippine peso exchange rate goes down, I don’t know if I’ll be happy or not. I’m earning USD so it works for me; however, it also means that my country’s economy is not really in good shape. So, there – conflict of interest!
The other day I was having a nice, peaceful breakfast with my husband and BAM! – my monster-in-law gave us a surprise visit! What a way to start a day…
Sometimes, dealing with problems can be flat out difficult. But you just have to accept the things that you cannot control and embrace things that you can’t delete from your life – because they will always be there, stuck on you, like Krazy glue.
In Latin, acceptance means “to find rest in.” I believe that it’s the only way to achieve peace of mind in situations that you don’t have any control of and perhaps you can also give these “13 Yoga Poses to Flush Stress Hormones From Your Body” a try.
Sometimes, you have to be grateful for your pain and for your hardest experiences.
I am talking about the “pain of never again” or the pain of learning from your mistakes. It’s a healthy kind of pain for it comes with acknowledging the wrong, accepting what is, and committing to not do the same thing again.
Being thankful for this kind of pain sets you free from your heartaches, helps you discover the meaning of all the hardships you’ve been through and allows you to create a vision of the future in peace.
However, there is another type of pain that we all want to banish forever, migraine headaches. Fortunately, there ways to reduce its frequency and severity outside the realm of conventional medicine such as Acupuncture, nutritional supplements and certain types of therapies.
Ladies, to simply put it, it’s the imperfections of life that make it worth living. It’s just a matter of how good you are in resolving your issues, accepting reality and being grateful of everything.
Falling in love is one thing but staying in love is something completely different. You have to work at your relationship. I met my prince, I still have to work at it.
Many people trip when they are in their first relationship but I have always looked at it as a learning process. Falling in love is one thing, and growing in love is something else. As a woman, you have to settle in with someone who treats you well and above all, respects you.
I remember being in such a situation. My boyfriend then was not giving it all in the relationship but there was no easy way to cut him off. Eventually, albeit with a little struggle, I got rid of him, moved to a different apartment and started my life afresh. Nothing was as liberating as when I realized that self-worth is important.
I agree! Falling in love is easy, and even if you meet your soulmate and the man of your dreams, relationships still require hard work. It takes dedication to keep a relationship fresh. Staying in love, and as Cherie said above, growing in love can be tough to maintain, but worth it in the end.
Wake up and smell the coffee; nothing is ever as it seems. A partner will treat you badly if you do not have standards and will respect you if from the onset, you live by principles. It is never worth clinging onto false hope. It is best to move on and live in peace with everyone.
I always look back at my past experiences, be they good or bad, and remain grateful because somehow a lesson was learned. Every one of us has been through a bad relationship and it is not worth holding on to a partner who wants to leave.
There is a reason for the Serenity Prayer. You know, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”. While this is a powerful prayer for alcoholics new to sobriety, it is also very true for everyone who experiences a struggling situation. You have to know when to just let go.
How true. I love that prayer created by St. Francis of Assisi. It’s so powerful Today as it was in his time. You can only do what is in your power as a human being. The rest, is in God’s Hands.