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Shelby was in a 7-year relationship with her first boyfriend, James. Recently James broke up with her for reasons he couldn’t seem to justify. He told her that he couldn’t believe how much his world revolved around her and that he needed some time alone, away from her.
Basically, there’s nothing she can do, right? The man whom she devoted almost a decade of her life to just chose to leave her. She was in a lot of pain so she just decided to keep herself busy at work.
Shelby has a very hectic and demanding job as a magazine journalist. The idea of her break-up didn’t really sink until one night while she was working on a deadline; she just snapped and decided to do something totally out of character.
She went to her wardrobe, put a sexy dress on and doubled the coat of her mascara before hitting the club. She was determined to say yes to a “fair opportunity” that would come her way that night.
So when she met this gorgeous model, she took it like a pro. One thing led to another and she had a one night stand with a complete stranger.
Pleasurable enough, it was somehow a liberating experience. She was able to validate herself that she is still attractive and likeable.
Who are we to judge a woman scorned?
The next morning, she felt emotionally deflated and disappointed in herself. She blamed James for what she did.
There are many things that Shelby overlooked that night. Though her rationale was blinded by her heartache, she knew hooking up with a stranger was risky and unacceptable.
What if this guy was deranged and tried to hurt her? What if she got pregnant? What if she contracted an STD?
Ladies, this type of craziness that some of us get into cannot go on. When we make a mistake like this and we manage to get out of it alive, we should consider ourselves lucky to have a chance at a second life.
Sometimes, all it takes is one time.
When we come to realize our mistake, we should learn from it the first time. We should avoid repeating the same old crap over and over again.
In “How the Habit of Minimizing Could Be Why You’re Never Sure of Yourself,” writer Irene Koutsidis shares her experience on how she handles issues in her life.
She’s a self-confessed “minimizer,” someone who turns a major situation into something less than what it is.
In some ways, aren’t we all guilty of being a minimizer?
When we are in denial, we tend to underestimate a situation that actually has a potential to destroy our whole being.
Just like what happened to Shelby.
If she confronted her ex and told him everything she wanted to say the moment he broke up with her, don’t you think that the burden in her heart would be lighter?
But why do you think she hesitated?
Low self-esteem can have some pretty huge negative effects in our lives.
It disables you from treating yourself better. In your mind, you are less valuable than you think, you are not beautiful enough, and you don’t deserve good relationships.
Ladies, we have to claim our right to success, fulfillment and happiness!
In the piece “Who Am I Anyway? 5 Ways to Identify and Address Low Self-Esteem,” Amanda Richardson shares advice on how to develop confidence.
Life is not always pretty. There will be times when you will feel like it won’t get any better. However, if you know the difference between your abilities and things that you cannot control, then you understand that there’s nothing else to do but to move forward.
Your self-esteem affects what you will become in life, whether you are going to reach your full potential or just forever wonder about “what ifs” and “maybes.”
For instance, you have a regular job, but you want to pursue your dream as a blogger. If you have faith in yourself that you can actually turn it into a career – then, by all means make it happen!
Confidence, along with proper skill-set, is all you need to get started.
Study and equip yourself with the knowledge needed to connect with your readers. The piece “5 Ways You Can Take Your Blog From Side Hustle to Online Empire” will give you extraordinary poise in planning your career and becoming your own boss.
Your strongest chance at success depends on the effort you exert in writing and promoting your blog posts. Treat it as a serious business and not just a small sideline.
Be professional at all times and avoid mixing your work and personal life.
Going back to Shelby’s story, I don’t think she would be able to get away with not meeting her deadline the next day. It would definitely have some serious repercussions on her job.
And for those ladies out there who don’t think one-night stands are dangerous, this article can be very useful for you since you’re just one night away from getting serious infections: “Honey, Not Antibiotics, Should Be the First Mode of Treatment For Bacterial Illneses.”
There’s no such thing as a perfect guide to life. Sometimes, there are gray areas between right and wrong, but that doesn’t mean it’s an excuse for regrets and irresponsible actions.
Having low self-esteem is one of the biggest issues women can face. The article really has a lot of good points about this issue. The one that made a lot of sense to me is always feeling the need to prove myself. I’ve always had a hard time believing in myself and people telling me how good I am at things, but I just don’t feel like I am.
I think Shelby’s problem had more to do with still being hung up on James and having only been with him for so long than it did the risk of having a one night stand. One night stands can be very liberating if you’re in the right place mentally.
When we are heart-broken, we tend to do things that we regret later on. Been there, done that. I completely understand where Shelby is coming from, so I don’t really blame her. However, what is important is to realize what she has done, to get over it and not to do it again.
I thought the article about minimizing was a real eye-opener. I can definitely see that I habitually minimize others’ bad behavior toward me, because I am just trying to get along with everyone.
Easier said than done. Learn from your mistakes and don’t make them again. It’s an easy lesson, right? I’ve been there… dress up and go out on the town. I go out with friends and they keep me in line.
Wow! This is an eye opening article. I can remember the time I almost did the same thing as Shelby. Fortunately a good friend of mine stopped me. Rejection is probably the most destructive emotion to overcome. It made me feel worthless and without hope. Fortunately I have overcome that incident and have been working on myself. Instead of being concerned with other people’s opinions of me I am learning to be happy with myself.
It is hard to be in the shoes of Shelby. I think we’ve all been there. But we also know that you don’t respond to a breakup with a one night stand, a flush and a cry the next morning and expect to feel better about it.
We live and we learn don’t we?
I think the key to what you said is to be in the right place mentally. Someone getting over a break up is not in the right place, and that can get you into trouble. I rarely regret things I’ve done, but most of my regrets do hinge around things I did when I was hurting and vulnerable. Rarely, if ever, do I regret things I’ve done when I was in a healthy place emotionally or mentally.