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Deciding to end an 8-year relationship was no joke. I didn’t know where to start, what to tell my friends and my family, and when I would learn to forget. The pain was so unbearable that I had to cry myself to sleep every night.
I thought the torment would never end until one night I decided to look at myself in the mirror and I watched myself cry. When I realized how ugly and miserable I was, I tried to smile and fixed my face a little. And though the pain was still there, at least it made me feel a little better.
“Strong women wear their pain like they do stilettos. No matter how much it hurts, all you see is the beauty of it.”
It wasn’t easy for me to move on. My heart was filled with anger, bitterness and so much hatred, which I had no idea how to get rid of. But I realized that I only had two choices: get stuck in the pain forever or help myself get over it.
Of course, I chose the latter. I didn’t want to be sad. I knew I deserved better.
So ladies, for those of you who want to take the same journey to find inner peace of mind through acceptance, here are ways to help yourself fight your inner demons and heal for good.
Smile Through the Pain
You’re probably hurting because somebody you trust betrayed you, someone in your life broke their promise, or you felt left behind. Whatever reasons you have, always remind yourself that you deserve better.
And though you have the support of your family and friends, I don’t suggest that you completely depend on them as that will hold you back from fulfilling your responsibility to yourself and trusting in your ability to take control of your own life. So, learn to face the music all by yourself and smile through the pain.
Brynn Mosello of Elite Daily suggests ways to fight-off the tears and keep a cool air when on the mend from being broken hearted.
Well, there’s no better revenge after a break-up than making yourself look insanely hot, confident, and happy.
Stay Solution-Oriented
Problems are a part of life and unfortunately, they continue to breed whether you like it or not. So, rather than dwelling on your frustrations and endlessly complaining how unfair things are, it is best to focus on finding ways for how you can change your circumstances.
For instance, you went on a vacation and had the time of your life. Then, after all the excitement wore off, you realized that you spent way over your budget and screwed up your finances.
Well, you can choose to cry in the corner or you can decide to do something about it and nurse your way back to financial health.
Appreciate Life’s Little Pretty Details
Sometimes, it can be hard to see the good in the world especially when you’re going through tough times in your life. But listen girl, you are not obligated to see the good in everything! I can’t do that either, so instead try to learn to appreciate the little joys and see the good when you can.
This may sound like a Disney movie, but sometimes you have to act like a Disney princess who finds bliss in simple things like the presence of chirping birds outside your window, the warmth of the sunlight in your face, and the beautiful flowers in your garden.
You have to reduce your dependence on people and things that define you and learn to live happier with what you have.
Be Nicer to Yourself
Ladies, the healing process can’t be rushed. So, don’t push yourself too hard and give yourself the emotional break you need. You have nothing to prove to anyone anyway so why hurry?
Complete healing takes place on its’ own beautiful time. For now, the only thing that you have to do is help yourself and you can do it by letting your body get as much rest as it needs.
Let yourself be human for a day or two. Pick up your phone, order a pizza and indulge yourself. Don’t go to work if you’re stressed and/or you think that you won’t be fully functional. Instead, call in sick and hit the spa. Just make sure that don’t share your location on Facebook because your boss doesn’t have to know where you really are.
And to get that complete bed rest that you need, check this out – “The Best Beverages to Drink for Amazing Sleep Every Night.”
The only thing I haven’t tried on the list is cherry juice but I can assure you that the rest of the items are all effective. I just want to add two more things though: red wine and warm peppermint tea with a little honey.
Ladies, praying for the world to stop rotating won’t work. So, you have to start taking action, let the sunshine in and help yourself to heal.
To break a relationship after 8 years must have taken a lot of courage. I have been in a relationship for 3 years now and the thought of separating makes me cringe. Nonetheless, there will always be life after a relationship. Happiness can never be tied to one situation or person.
One of my favorite expressions is “if I don’t laugh, I’ll cry” and that is truly how I look at life, so I guess I DO smile through the pain. I try to find the humor in every situation, and believe me, there is humor to be had if you are looking for it. Even the most horrible situation contains some small blessing, moment of peace, or even a moment of joy. It might feel like a needle in a haystack, but you can find it if you choose to look.
My best friend told me that I was too focused on myself and my sufferings, that I forgot about my positive sides and things I’m good at. I thought those were petty little things, but they meant so much to others and they saved me. It’s strange how people view things so differently.
When people break up, they tend to worry about what their friends or family will make of the whole situation. Handling a break up is never easy but getting over it is the most gratifying thing. As a woman, your partner should be able to help you exploit your positive attributes to the fullest, whilst helping you to work on your shortcomings.
That is so true. Things that seem little to us might be big to other people. You should embrace your positive attributes when you are going through tough times.
I try to live my life this way too. It’s not always easy. Some things in life are just hard. You don’t see a happy ending in sight. Sometimes we need to be reminded of the funny things.
I realized that I was much happier when I quit trying to chase other things to make me happy. When you depend on things or people, you end up disappointed (whether it was their fault or not). So, deciding to be happy became my only option and when I realized that – because I was literally exhausted from being sad, I found joy in all those small things that seemed so stupid to me before… a nice day outside or getting to snuggle next to the fireplace, etc.
I have gone through the same thing about 6 years ago. I ended a five-year relationship and it took me almost a whole year to get over it. I wish I had read this article back then when I was miserable, because now I realize that it wasn’t worth it at all.