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Before I got married, I remember having a serious talk with my husband about my work. He just wanted me to stay home while he provided for everything. Many women would like nothing more than to find themselves in this kind of situation; not having to do anything but take care of their husbands. What else could I have possibly asked for?
However, unlike most, I didn’t want to stop working. I wanted to earn my own money and be able to buy things for myself, for my friends and especially for my husband. Fortunately, after a night of some Rigodon De Honor, I was finally able to convince him that he should allow me to work.
I wasn’t trying to compete with my husband, nor think lowly of being a plain housewife. I just wanted to feel that even though I had a man who can fully support me, I still can stand on my own and rely on myself no matter what happens.
Independence is empowering. Here are some tips to help you realize that you are capable of becoming everything you want to be.
Get Comfortable With Being Alone
Take some alone time, like getting a spa treatment or just enjoy a state of wishlessness in the comfort of your own room. Also, do things that make you feel alive. If you enjoy writing, then go ahead and start a journal. If you love seeing places, then try traveling alone sometimes.
Being able to do things alone allows you to get to know yourself better. When you don’t have anyone to depend on, you’ll be forced to confront your own thoughts and you’ll be motivated to give your best to figure out things on your own. It will not only help you discover your inner strengths and weaknesses, but it will also give you the opportunity to become a better version of yourself.
For me, confidence and a positive self-image start when you believe in your own ability to be alone without being lonely. So, get out there and enjoy your own company.
And to help you take the first step in deepening your relationship with yourself, check this out – “5 Things That Will Make Your Meditation Practice A Million Times Easier.”
Practice Your Ability to Affect Change in Yourself
Girl, you have the power to reinvent yourself and change the circumstances in your life. All you have to do is have a positive mindset and believe that anything is possible and that you can make it through on your own.
A life full of doubts will get you nowhere because it will hold you back from taking chances and seizing opportunities that you may encounter on your journey.
When you realize that you are born with this special ability to affect change in yourself, you will become capable of doing amazing things like starting over again, motivating yourself to get things done, eradicating negative thoughts in your mind and replacing them with helpful ones, and most especially doing things that you love.
When I was working full time, I used to think that I would be forever stuck in a work-home, home-work lifestyle. I was so caught up in my job that I lost my spirit and felt like a walking zombie every day. I forgot that I had the ability to take action and there was something I could do to change my circumstances.
So, for you not to be in the same situation as I was and to empower yourself, I recommend that you read this piece – “How to Travel More With a Full-Time Job.”
Learn to Call the Shots in Your Life
Avoid relying too heavily on other people, especially when it comes to making important decisions about your life such as getting married, the type of career that you want to pursue, and your spiritual beliefs. When you depend too much on others, you will end up losing confidence in yourself, delaying your ambitions to the point of not getting there at all and disregarding your own needs.
In this short video, Entrepreneur and YouTuber Teni Panosian encourages you to create a life wherein you’re the one who’s in control and calling the shots.
Nothing feels better than being your own boss and knowing that you are capable of making sound decisions for yourself. It empowers you to be in the driver seat of your own life, to take yourself to where you really want to be, and work on achieving your goals at your own speed.
Ladies, you have to understand that sometimes, life is not about finding your prince charming or being saved by a knight in shining armor from a vicious dragon. Sometimes, it is about picking yourself up, keeping your crap together and learning that the only person you can rely on to slay those monsters is yourself.
Acknowledge Your Responsibility to Help Others
Being an independent and an empowered woman is about more than just what makes you happy, your abilities, and meeting your needs. It is also about realizing that you have an obligation to other human beings on this planet, that you can be an inspiration and that you can help lift other women up by showing support and lending them your strength.
So, learn to open your heart to others, help them heal and be kind. Invest time in spreading some love because this world needs it so badly.
I think everyone should be independent. There is nothing wrong with being in a relationship and being a strong woman. I can do it alone, but I choose to do it with my husband.
My ex-husband didn’t want me working. I felt as though I had to fight for the right to work, and it ruined our marriage. Life is more difficult now, but I wouldn’t change it for anything! I absolutely love having my independence.
Too many women tear each other down. We should build each other up, support each other and help each other realize our dreams. We in this together ladies.
I have always said that women will never achieve true equality because of the way that we treat one another. Why should we expect men to treat us differently than we treat ourselves?
I have always been comfortable being alone, and I think that particular characteristic has served me well in the past few years. I have found the time to improve and better my life by focusing more on me and less on what other people expected from me. Thanks for a great article.
Most of my female friends are fiercely independent because they simply don’t trust that any man will be able to support them financially in the long run. To them, there are always strings attached in the alternate arrangement.
I am with you on this one because there is nothing as annoying as staying at home and having nothing substantial to do. Independence requires that we understand what we want and fearlessly pursue this goal.
That’s probably taking things a little bit too far, but they may have different experiences. My close friend did say that being independent sometimes makes us think negatively about people too fast. It should be balanced; opening up while still standing strong alone.